It was on the latter part of September 2007 when my dad arrived from Saudi Arabia. He was supposed to have an “at least 2 month vacation”. And surprisingly, my dad is still with us up to this very minute. The first six months were pretty ok. We felt no shortage of material and financial needs. No hard and rough times. But the candle came to melt, so as our savings. Things at that time (last week of March) were still manageable since we knew supposedly then, my dad will soon be leaving, April 19 is the date. But after his medical exam was out, he was diagnosed with an illness that no one would want to have. We felt then that it’s all just a deception by the devil. That was the start of my test of faith. My internship at that time was near, and we’re clueless on where we will be getting my tuition for it. I knelt down in prayer asking God to hear my cry and feel my pain. Lo and behold, He provided. I just can’t remember how.

My dad was scheduled for a repeat on the first week of April. And the testing continued. The result was good for us, it was not positive nor negative, it’s below the standard of Saudi Arabia but the clinic’s remark was still off. He still can’t fly for Middle East. Plus we have a lot of “bayarins” (name all the bills you can think of). Our last resort is to take back the money that my mom invested for her nephew’s business two years ago. But he too was experiencing a financial drought and can’t return our investment and its profit. Oh, what a trial! My dad talked to us, and told us that if he can’t work, we shall go back to our province (Cagayan de Oro City). It simply means that I and my “kapatids” will stop from school. I only have 1 year left before i’ll graduate, and I just can’t let the 3 years I spent for college go to waste.

That was the time I began to question God in my prayers. I knew I shouldn’t but my head unconsciously asks, then instructed my mouth to pop them:

” Lord, why do we have to go through all of these? I know You have a purpose for everything. Then what is it? They said You won’t give trials that we can’t endure, Can’t You see that this is so unbearable? So why not just take this away and answer our prayers? I know You are an answering God, and have proven that to me a number of times. Why can’t show it once more? “

I was so selfish and childish. I knew I sinned by questioning Him. I became paranoid that God might hold longer the answers to my prayers. One Wednesday night, I told Rachelle all my griefs and angsts. We shared a lot of talks about our spiritual lives. I released all my pains, and she did too. Indeed, that was a great relief!

I repented. God didn’t deserve everything I told Him. He has been a a gracious God to me and my family. For the whole month of April we survived. And that was all because of Him! I just need to pray and pray and pray for in His time I will stand up on the fulfillment of my prayers. A sister in faith once told,

If you are faithful to God, He’ll be more faithful to you.